I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
