what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
