JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
