Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
