The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
