Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just pee around me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
