I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's like heaven, but drunker
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
