I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
