she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
