When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am naked and annoyed.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
