She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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