im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
