Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
