I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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