Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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