i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
