Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your cock deserves a montage
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize
