don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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