Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
