i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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