Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
