What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
