I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
