hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
