Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
