they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
