Don't you send me to vm
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
