you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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