Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
