News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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