I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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