Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize