he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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