Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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