Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
