That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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