My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
