And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
