the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
