the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
