well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
