my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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