if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone came in the potted fern
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
