Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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