I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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