just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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