I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
