I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
