What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
