LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
