How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize