i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
