And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
