Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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