I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
