Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize