'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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