Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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