We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
