Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize