How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Let the clothes fall where they may.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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