He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
